








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1315 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 339 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 35 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




49 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3661 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,653 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2489 | 21% |
| Smokes | 4144 | 36% |
| HE Grenades | 2279 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 2741 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,257,754 of utility $244 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2153 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Boby | 6 | 0.0026 |
| #2 | Cheese Man | 4 | 0.0055 |
| #3 | ding | 3 | 0.0017 |
| #4 | Tiger Woods | 3 | 0.0019 |
| #5 | Beans | 3 | 0.0021 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Boby | 177 | 0.08 | 5 min |
| #2 | ding | 176 | 0.10 | 5 min |
| #3 | Beans | 108 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| #4 | TeeJay ♛ | 106 | 0.04 | 3 min |
| #5 | Cheese | 93 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cheese Man | +4.18 | 70 | 64 |
| #2 | spaceglider (Akimbo King) | +1.79 | 64 | 24 |
| #3 | Little Debbie | +0.95 | 66 | 52 |
| #4 | Boby | +0.83 | 68 | 58 |
| #5 | Tiger Woods | +0.83 | 42 | 31 |





