








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 34 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 28 matches | ||
| Renown | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 13 matches | ||
| Premier | 12 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




17 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
731 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,048 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 545 | 27% |
| Smokes | 470 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 451 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 582 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $178,062 of utility $104 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 37 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Some ordinary virgin | 67% | 18 |
| #2 | Director | 56% | 9 |
| #3 | LoZaDa | 54% | 13 |
| #4 | [De1et3D] | 50% | 12 |
| #5 | Mar | 29% | 7 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Some ordinary virgin | 67% | 18 |
| #2 | Director | 56% | 9 |
| #3 | LoZaDa | 54% | 13 |
| #4 | [De1et3D] | 50% | 12 |
| #5 | Mar | 29% | 7 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mar | 1 | 0.0078 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Some ordinary virgin | 46 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| #2 | LoZaDa | 27 | 0.12 | 0 min |
| #3 | [De1et3D] | 11 | 0.05 | 0 min |
| #4 | Director | 9 | 0.05 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LoZaDa | +3.76 | 51 | 34 |
| #2 | Some ordinary virgin | +3.72 | 55 | 52 |
| #3 | Director | +1.81 | 67 | 46 |
| #4 | Jimbo | +0.46 | 51 | 39 |
| #5 | [De1et3D] | -0.13 | 58 | 50 |





