








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1798 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 1237 matches | ||
| Wingman | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 13 matches | ||
| Faceit | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 83 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




242 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
13677 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 56,633 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 17801 | 31% |
| Smokes | 16757 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 11837 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 10238 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,400,197 of utility $82 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 950 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BUZZARD | 49% | 81 |
| #2 | kon | 49% | 447 |
| #3 | King Beleth | 47% | 391 |
| #4 | Lithium | 47% | 137 |
| #5 | crispybanjo | 47% | 493 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Grzegorz Brzęczyszczykiewicz | 56 | 0.0343 |
| #2 | ᘛᗽ ǟʀɦɦӄɨʐʐʟɛ ᘀ | 47 | 0.0154 |
| #3 | kon | 23 | 0.0024 |
| #4 | crispybanjo | 21 | 0.0020 |
| #5 | BUZZARD | 19 | 0.0107 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | King Beleth | 673 | 0.08 | 19 min |
| #2 | kon | 619 | 0.06 | 15 min |
| #3 | BubbleBUDz | 601 | 0.14 | 14 min |
| #4 | Lithium | 302 | 0.10 | 8 min |
| #5 | Anbu | 287 | 0.07 | 7 min |





