








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 244 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 250 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




57 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4681 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,645 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4122 | 39% |
| Smokes | 2564 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 1172 | 11% |
| Molotovs | 2787 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $869,701 of utility $106 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 739 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FlanMan | 57% | 74 |
| #2 | Bandicoot | 56% | 246 |
| #3 | El3ment O_o | 54% | 160 |
| #4 | GrootBaas | 52% | 124 |
| #5 | kaas | 47% | 138 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FlanMan | 57% | 74 |
| #2 | Bandicoot | 56% | 246 |
| #3 | El3ment O_o | 54% | 160 |
| #4 | GrootBaas | 52% | 124 |
| #5 | kaas | 47% | 138 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bandicoot | 46 | 0.0090 |
| #2 | El3ment O_o | 37 | 0.0111 |
| #3 | kaas | 36 | 0.0123 |
| #4 | FlanMan | 17 | 0.0107 |
| #5 | GrootBaas | 6 | 0.0023 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bandicoot | 964 | 0.19 | 27 min |
| #2 | kaas | 713 | 0.24 | 19 min |
| #3 | El3ment O_o | 711 | 0.21 | 19 min |
| #4 | GrootBaas | 301 | 0.12 | 7 min |
| #5 | FlanMan | 211 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bandicoot | +2.48 | 77 | 64 |
| #2 | kaas | +1.44 | 79 | 62 |
| #3 | El3ment O_o | +0.94 | 66 | 62 |
| #4 | grond | +0.66 | 72 | 55 |
| #5 | FlanMan | -1.20 | 46 | 59 |





