








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 429 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 363 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 19 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




35 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3457 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,273 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3260 | 39% |
| Smokes | 1682 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 2630 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 701 | 8% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,009,681 of utility $110 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 172 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Monkey | 56% | 117 |
| #2 | Anthony | 49% | 162 |
| #3 | steb | 48% | 236 |
| #4 | 00 | 48% | 46 |
| #5 | Felt | 48% | 80 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sinc | 35 | 0.0082 |
| #2 | Monkey | 21 | 0.0086 |
| #3 | OsamaPinkLlama | 17 | 0.0094 |
| #4 | Anthony | 10 | 0.0030 |
| #5 | steb | 8 | 0.0016 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | steb | 1009 | 0.20 | 28 min |
| #2 | OsamaPinkLlama | 243 | 0.13 | 6 min |
| #3 | sinc | 231 | 0.05 | 5 min |
| #4 | 00 | 197 | 0.19 | 6 min |
| #5 | Monkey | 114 | 0.05 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Schoo | +1.95 | 68 | 49 |
| #2 | steb | +1.64 | 78 | 73 |
| #3 | Anthony | +0.20 | 72 | 28 |
| #4 | 00 | -0.65 | 58 | 56 |
| #5 | Monkey | -1.18 | 25 | 41 |





