








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 564 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 362 matches | ||
| Faceit | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 14 matches | ||
| Wingman | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 28 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




26 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5136 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 18,111 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5612 | 31% |
| Smokes | 2350 | 13% |
| HE Grenades | 5472 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 4677 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,628,194 of utility $160 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 557 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | aliiin | 13 | 0.0037 |
| #2 | dianaa | 12 | 0.0033 |
| #3 | xRobert_07 | 12 | 0.0040 |
| #4 | Momo :3 | 9 | 0.0018 |
| #5 | s1gma | 9 | 0.0070 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Momo :3 | 448 | 0.09 | 12 min |
| #2 | aliiin | 443 | 0.13 | 11 min |
| #3 | Yoda | 228 | 0.09 | 6 min |
| #4 | s1gma | 205 | 0.16 | 5 min |
| #5 | xRobert_07 | 179 | 0.06 | 6 min |





