








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 401 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 279 matches | ||
| Wingman | 53 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 197 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




60 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2970 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,978 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2782 | 28% |
| Smokes | 2464 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 2682 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 2050 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $934,748 of utility $122 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1190 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | Nobu | 43% | 40 |
| #11 | Broidi | 36% | 28 |
| #12 | onks tää jaro? | 36% | 42 |
| #13 | Sönkkö | 34% | 35 |
| #14 | Rakastelija Nylkynen | 32% | 60 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sano Tomi Vaa | 776 | 0.21 | 15 min |
| #2 | Krab | 208 | 0.23 | 4 min |
| #3 | Piikkiuuu | 159 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| #4 | Ropu | 115 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #5 | Nobu | 89 | 0.11 | 1 min |





