








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 52 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 63 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1354 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,784 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 94 | 2% |
| Smokes | 925 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 1908 | 40% |
| Molotovs | 1857 | 39% |
Our logs show you have wasted $579,886 of utility $122 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JDSportskid | 55% | 126 |
| #2 | BIPPO | 50% | 100 |
| #3 | Tigerhajen | 48% | 158 |
| #4 | SADPUGLIFE | 46% | 178 |
| #5 | yog4pants | 45% | 31 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JDSportskid | 34 | 0.0134 |
| #2 | Tigerhajen | 31 | 0.0101 |
| #3 | SADPUGLIFE | 27 | 0.0078 |
| #4 | BIPPO | 25 | 0.0123 |
| #5 | cactuscoach | 10 | 0.0111 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JDSportskid | 500 | 0.20 | 9 min |
| #2 | Tigerhajen | 305 | 0.10 | 7 min |
| #3 | SADPUGLIFE | 211 | 0.06 | 4 min |
| #4 | BIPPO | 190 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #5 | cactuscoach | 113 | 0.13 | 3 min |





