








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 985 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 126 matches | ||
| Faceit | 93 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 17 matches | ||
| Wingman | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 32 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1742 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,122 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 972 | 16% |
| Smokes | 1942 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 1411 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 1797 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,105,224 of utility $199 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 56 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TypeShiiii | 65% | 78 |
| #2 | Sigma | 60% | 30 |
| #3 | John Counterstrike | 57% | 28 |
| #4 | get öl | 55% | 161 |
| #5 | MiQ | 54% | 162 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | get öl | 791 | 0.24 | 19 min |
| #2 | MiQ | 319 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| #3 | TypeShiiii | 156 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #4 | ding ding | 96 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #5 | Sigma | 82 | 0.13 | 2 min |





