










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1184 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 316 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 37 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




16 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4080 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,254 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5363 | 33% |
| Smokes | 4378 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 3230 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 3283 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,384,090 of utility $169 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 439 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | McCockineer | 58% | 26 |
| #2 | Juanito | 57% | 54 |
| #3 | KnightFire | 54% | 28 |
| #4 | Zohan | 53% | 32 |
| #5 | ✪JasonR | 45% | 22 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Juanito | 57% | 54 |
| #3 | KnightFire | 54% | 28 |
| #4 | Zohan | 53% | 32 |
| #5 | ✪JasonR | 45% | 22 |
| #6 | Bloo | 42% | 36 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bloo | 3 | 0.0037 |
| #2 | Zohan | 2 | 0.0027 |
| #3 | Juanito | 1 | 0.0009 |
| #4 | KnightFire | 1 | 0.0015 |
| #5 | ✪JasonR | 1 | 0.0021 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bloo | 288 | 0.36 | 8 min |
| #2 | McCockineer | 216 | 0.34 | 5 min |
| #3 | Zohan | 135 | 0.18 | 4 min |
| #4 | Juanito | 120 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #5 | ✪JasonR | 74 | 0.16 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | corp- | +1.73 | 82 | 67 |
| #2 | Bloo | +1.70 | 62 | 71 |
| #3 | McCockineer | +1.50 | 68 | 76 |
| #4 | Juanito | +1.01 | 68 | 42 |
| #5 | KnightFire | -0.93 | 62 | 46 |





