








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 136 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 74 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Faceit | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
815 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,474 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1206 | 27% |
| Smokes | 1388 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 712 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 1168 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $454,764 of utility $169 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 11 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | zhanck | 75% | 12 |
| #2 | Someone | 61% | 18 |
| #3 | TOP DOGE | 57% | 14 |
| #4 | 3yb4uk | 53% | 19 |
| #5 | yosshi* | 53% | 38 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ¡ynz! | 7 | 0.0092 |
| #2 | kekland | 5 | 0.0045 |
| #3 | yosshi* | 2 | 0.0028 |
| #4 | WhaLeS | 1 | 0.0008 |
| #5 | MonKeyS gaming | 1 | 0.0025 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | WhaLeS | 180 | 0.14 | 4 min |
| #2 | yosshi* | 95 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| #3 | ¡ynz! | 75 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #4 | kekland | 63 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #5 | 3yb4uk | 49 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | zhanck | +7.22 | 72 | 50 |
| #2 | yosshi* | +3.86 | 66 | 63 |
| #3 | WhaLeS | +3.26 | 73 | 63 |
| #4 | TOP DOGE | +1.21 | 60 | 74 |
| #5 | Lunar | -0.46 | 33 | 63 |





