








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 444 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 551 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 87 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 43 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




30 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2470 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,659 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1845 | 13% |
| Smokes | 2719 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 5531 | 38% |
| Molotovs | 4564 | 31% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,525,305 of utility $159 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 252 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tellyhandler2.0 | 18 | 0.0040 |
| #2 | Audax | 14 | 0.0086 |
| #3 | beni | 9 | 0.0060 |
| #4 | CptClutxch | 7 | 0.0031 |
| #5 | Kaalbas In Die Reen | 5 | 0.0032 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kaalbas In Die Reen | 375 | 0.24 | 11 min |
| #2 | Tellyhandler2.0 | 294 | 0.06 | 5 min |
| #3 | Audax | 200 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| #4 | beni | 139 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #5 | CptClutxch | 126 | 0.06 | 2 min |





