








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 720 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 531 matches | ||
| Faceit | 81 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 57 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




29 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8300 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 28,240 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 9951 | 35% |
| Smokes | 5555 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 6344 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 6390 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,951,692 of utility $114 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 435 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | M A C | 55% | 119 |
| #2 | Matt | 48% | 61 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | M A C | 55% | 119 |
| #2 | Matt | 48% | 61 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | M A C | 7 | 0.0027 |
| #2 | Matt | 1 | 0.0008 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | M A C | 537 | 0.21 | 11 min |
| #2 | Matt | 173 | 0.14 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Larry W. Lewis | +0.78 | 61 | 65 |
| #2 | Matt | -0.40 | 60 | 41 |
| #3 | M A C | -0.47 | 71 | 55 |





