








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 36 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 130 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 17 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




25 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1715 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,256 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1972 | 32% |
| Smokes | 1988 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 1157 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 1139 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $428,826 of utility $80 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 87 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | AK-47 | Hydroponic | 71% | 24 |
| #2 | Schokonico | 57% | 70 |
| #3 | checkm8te | 56% | 43 |
| #4 | edpan | 55% | 31 |
| #5 | watermelonium | 54% | 48 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Schokonico | 57% | 70 |
| #3 | checkm8te | 56% | 43 |
| #4 | edpan | 55% | 31 |
| #5 | watermelonium | 54% | 48 |
| #6 | big smoke | 54% | 96 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Schokonico | 9 | 0.0065 |
| #2 | checkm8te | 6 | 0.0073 |
| #3 | big smoke | 3 | 0.0015 |
| #4 | edpan | 3 | 0.0049 |
| #5 | AK-47 | Hydroponic | 2 | 0.0038 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Schokonico | 224 | 0.16 | 4 min |
| #2 | edpan | 82 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| #3 | big smoke | 75 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #4 | checkm8te | 60 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #5 | AK-47 | Hydroponic | 34 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | AK-47 | Hydroponic | +3.67 | 65 | 56 |
| #2 | big smoke | +3.43 | 64 | 46 |
| #3 | checkm8te | +2.89 | 75 | 48 |
| #4 | watermelonium | +0.03 | 72 | 8 |
| #5 | Schokonico | -0.19 | 60 | 57 |





