








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 14 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 112 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 15 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1568 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,912 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 463 | 16% |
| Smokes | 742 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 991 | 34% |
| Molotovs | 716 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $315,647 of utility $106 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dembo RR | 64% | 25 |
| #2 | cudas | 56% | 27 |
| #3 | jou | 50% | 10 |
| #4 | JP (John Pork) balkan rage | 49% | 76 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dembo RR | 64% | 25 |
| #2 | cudas | 56% | 27 |
| #3 | jou | 50% | 10 |
| #4 | JP (John Pork) balkan rage | 49% | 76 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JP (John Pork) balkan rage | 3 | 0.0020 |
| #2 | cudas | 3 | 0.0056 |
| #3 | dembo RR | 1 | 0.0020 |
| #4 | jou | 1 | 0.0048 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JP (John Pork) balkan rage | 125 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #2 | cudas | 56 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #3 | dembo RR | 37 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #4 | jou | 18 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dembo RR | +3.37 | 85 | 53 |
| #2 | Sakay 乡 | +2.52 | 90 | 45 |
| #3 | cudas | -0.17 | 56 | 65 |
| #4 | JP (John Pork) balkan rage | -2.73 | 61 | 59 |
| #5 | jou | -4.18 | 28 | 50 |





