








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1024 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 249 matches | ||
| Wingman | 102 matches | ||
| Premier | 88 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 76 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 44 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 20 different maps





Our logs show 66 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




95 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5434 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 25,489 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 8201 | 32% |
| Smokes | 7108 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 5504 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 4676 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,147,482 of utility $138 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 899 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Xion | 62% | 45 |
| #2 | Le_-V | 60% | 75 |
| #3 | Neaven | 55% | 74 |
| #4 | KABALIO-lll | 55% | 76 |
| #5 | AZZOCAT | 53% | 113 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | AZZOCAT | 734 | 0.33 | 19 min |
| #2 | JojowOo | 516 | 0.15 | 8 min |
| #3 | Saxxxxxx | 466 | 0.22 | 11 min |
| #4 | Neaven | 224 | 0.16 | 5 min |
| #5 | Le_-V | 218 | 0.14 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | AZZOCAT | +3.21 | 58 | 67 |
| #2 | KABALIO-lll | +3.19 | 77 | 50 |
| #3 | JojowOo | +2.27 | 71 | 42 |
| #4 | Xion | +2.22 | 78 | 56 |
| #5 | Neaven | +1.22 | 77 | 56 |





