








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 17 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 76 matches | ||
| Faceit | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
801 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,929 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 549 | 28% |
| Smokes | 600 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 380 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 400 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $339,836 of utility $147 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Yugi | 50% | 10 |
| #2 | $tach | 45% | 76 |
| #3 | ✪Steve | 44% | 9 |
| #4 | DankLettuce | 44% | 36 |
| #5 | Hayvo | 40% | 25 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | ✪Steve | 44% | 9 |
| #4 | DankLettuce | 44% | 36 |
| #5 | Hayvo | 40% | 25 |
| #6 | Zyro | 40% | 43 |
| #7 | Eyez | 23% | 13 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hayvo | 4 | 0.0073 |
| #2 | $tach | 3 | 0.0018 |
| #3 | Yugi | 3 | 0.0140 |
| #4 | DankLettuce | 2 | 0.0025 |
| #5 | ✪Steve | 1 | 0.0049 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zyro | 140 | 0.16 | 3 min |
| #2 | $tach | 136 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #3 | DankLettuce | 136 | 0.17 | 4 min |
| #4 | Hayvo | 119 | 0.22 | 3 min |
| #5 | Yugi | 64 | 0.30 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DankLettuce | +4.77 | 79 | 70 |
| #2 | Yugi | +3.86 | 74 | 79 |
| #3 | Eyez | +1.31 | 73 | 63 |
| #4 | ✪Steve | +0.11 | 33 | 51 |
| #5 | BITB | -0.19 | 67 | 45 |





