








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 19 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 11 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 6 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
166 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 297 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 72 | 24% |
| Smokes | 81 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 76 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 68 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $58,460 of utility $192 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1 message into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LaurentiuZ | 100% | 2 |
| #2 | DenSultneStruds | 100% | 2 |
| #3 | S1m0n/SitraX | 100% | 2 |
| #4 | Roedy | 100% | 2 |
| #5 | MM ツ | 50% | 2 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | DenSultneStruds | 100% | 2 |
| #3 | S1m0n/SitraX | 100% | 2 |
| #4 | Roedy | 100% | 2 |
| #5 | MM ツ | 50% | 2 |
| #6 | quandale dingle | 50% | 2 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MM ツ | 2 | 0.05 | 0 min |
| #2 | LaurentiuZ | 1 | 0.02 | 0 min |
| #3 | quandale dingle | 1 | 0.03 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LaurentiuZ | +10.98 | 45 | 82 |
| #2 | S1m0n/SitraX | +4.64 | 40 | 62 |
| #3 | MM ツ | +2.33 | 34 | 38 |
| #4 | ʎo | +1.48 | 61 | 33 |
| #5 | quandale dingle | +1.05 | 56 | 56 |





