








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 156 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 224 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 59 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




29 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3076 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,901 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1839 | 17% |
| Smokes | 2681 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 3473 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 2908 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $854,053 of utility $97 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 50 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Asaris | 46% | 87 |
| #2 | chizas kraist | 45% | 47 |
| #3 | PULSEv2 | 42% | 26 |
| #4 | Hamuts! | 32% | 68 |
| #5 | ⁅𝕎𝕚𝕫𝕫𝕦⁆ | 32% | 38 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | PULSEv2 | 42% | 26 |
| #4 | Hamuts! | 32% | 68 |
| #5 | ⁅𝕎𝕚𝕫𝕫𝕦⁆ | 32% | 38 |
| #6 | LazyShot | 31% | 42 |
| #7 | xxmurjiexx | 24% | 34 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Asaris | 24 | 0.0138 |
| #2 | Hamuts! | 17 | 0.0124 |
| #3 | LazyShot | 9 | 0.0110 |
| #4 | chizas kraist | 8 | 0.0082 |
| #5 | ⁅𝕎𝕚𝕫𝕫𝕦⁆ | 6 | 0.0077 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Asaris | 138 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #2 | chizas kraist | 95 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #3 | LazyShot | 93 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #4 | PULSEv2 | 80 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| #5 | Hamuts! | 64 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | chizas kraist | +2.33 | 30 | 70 |
| #2 | Asaris | -0.26 | 25 | 47 |
| #3 | PULSEv2 | -0.40 | 25 | 74 |
| #4 | Hamuts! | -1.28 | 20 | 27 |
| #5 | YuYii | -2.36 | 47 | 46 |





