








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 46 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Premier | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1635 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,375 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1150 | 34% |
| Smokes | 940 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 561 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 724 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $221,492 of utility $82 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TLAW-Abbe | 61% | 23 |
| #2 | renv | 57% | 30 |
| #3 | s4mmy ⛟ | 56% | 34 |
| #4 | freddy | 53% | 30 |
| #5 | PapaRooni | 49% | 83 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KAY/O | 7 | 0.0076 |
| #2 | PapaRooni | 3 | 0.0018 |
| #3 | Tevs | 3 | 0.0032 |
| #4 | s4mmy ⛟ | 3 | 0.0043 |
| #5 | renv | 3 | 0.0049 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tevs | 209 | 0.22 | 6 min |
| #2 | renv | 151 | 0.25 | 4 min |
| #3 | PapaRooni | 141 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #4 | KAY/O | 141 | 0.15 | 3 min |
| #5 | TLAW-Abbe | 117 | 0.26 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | s4mmy ⛟ | +2.49 | 81 | 57 |
| #2 | TLAW-Abbe | +2.34 | 65 | 60 |
| #3 | sk | +2.33 | 71 | 58 |
| #4 | renv | +1.51 | 66 | 63 |
| #5 | PapaRooni | +0.51 | 61 | 57 |





