








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 876 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 148 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 23 matches | ||
| Faceit | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 39 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2901 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,965 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2823 | 31% |
| Smokes | 2517 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 1210 | 13% |
| Molotovs | 2415 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $598,960 of utility $109 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 415 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | daigo parry | 66% | 91 |
| #2 | Transracial | 65% | 77 |
| #3 | xam | 59% | 29 |
| #4 | August | 47% | 53 |
| #5 | kaven | 44% | 36 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | daigo parry | 66% | 91 |
| #2 | Transracial | 65% | 77 |
| #3 | xam | 59% | 29 |
| #4 | August | 47% | 53 |
| #5 | kaven | 44% | 36 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | August | 21 | 0.0203 |
| #2 | Transracial | 18 | 0.0112 |
| #3 | daigo parry | 17 | 0.0088 |
| #4 | kaven | 10 | 0.0159 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | daigo parry | 432 | 0.22 | 11 min |
| #2 | Transracial | 255 | 0.16 | 7 min |
| #3 | August | 218 | 0.21 | 5 min |
| #4 | xam | 64 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #5 | kaven | 7 | 0.01 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | daigo parry | +3.56 | 91 | 68 |
| #2 | Transracial | +2.56 | 83 | 65 |
| #3 | honda civic | +1.14 | 73 | 66 |
| #4 | August | -0.17 | 46 | 59 |
| #5 | kaven | -0.26 | 82 | 21 |





