








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 252 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 121 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 9 matches | ||
| Faceit | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 24 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




21 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2361 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,859 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3072 | 31% |
| Smokes | 2801 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 2186 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 1800 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $985,756 of utility $149 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 27 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | King Julien XIII | 59% | 44 |
| #2 | ADI4N_ | 53% | 100 |
| #3 | BOW1E | 52% | 187 |
| #4 | xerusan | 44% | 91 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | King Julien XIII | 59% | 44 |
| #2 | ADI4N_ | 53% | 100 |
| #3 | BOW1E | 52% | 187 |
| #4 | xerusan | 44% | 91 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BOW1E | 37 | 0.0097 |
| #2 | ADI4N_ | 19 | 0.0092 |
| #3 | xerusan | 6 | 0.0032 |
| #4 | King Julien XIII | 3 | 0.0033 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BOW1E | 788 | 0.21 | 20 min |
| #2 | ADI4N_ | 383 | 0.18 | 8 min |
| #3 | xerusan | 148 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #4 | King Julien XIII | 86 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BOW1E | +3.18 | 89 | 64 |
| #2 | ADI4N_ | +2.41 | 68 | 49 |
| #3 | TofuTrash | -0.86 | 52 | 54 |
| #4 | King Julien XIII | -2.16 | 71 | 44 |
| #5 | xerusan | -4.97 | 57 | 29 |





