








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 275 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 68 matches | ||
| Premier | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




19 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1353 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,709 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 446 | 16% |
| Smokes | 629 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 930 | 34% |
| Molotovs | 704 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $675,487 of utility $207 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 325 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zenqy_ | 50% | 10 |
| #2 | garster mardian | 46% | 26 |
| #3 | CallMeBianca♡ | 45% | 47 |
| #4 | FloriN | 44% | 73 |
| #5 | snajperix | 42% | 33 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zenqy_ | 50% | 10 |
| #2 | garster mardian | 46% | 26 |
| #3 | CallMeBianca♡ | 45% | 47 |
| #4 | FloriN | 44% | 73 |
| #5 | snajperix | 42% | 33 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CallMeBianca♡ | 8 | 0.0080 |
| #2 | FloriN | 5 | 0.0031 |
| #3 | Zenqy_ | 3 | 0.0173 |
| #4 | snajperix | 2 | 0.0028 |
| #5 | garster mardian | 1 | 0.0018 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FloriN | 210 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| #2 | snajperix | 75 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #3 | CallMeBianca♡ | 69 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #4 | garster mardian | 47 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #5 | Zenqy_ | 38 | 0.22 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | garster mardian | +2.63 | 89 | 64 |
| #2 | snajperix | +1.41 | 60 | 58 |
| #3 | FloriN | +0.99 | 78 | 54 |
| #4 | Zenqy_ | +0.51 | 81 | 59 |
| #5 | JusT | +0.32 | 80 | 41 |





