








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1 achievement has been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 30 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
769 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,087 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 458 | 22% |
| Smokes | 537 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 489 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 603 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $72,063 of utility $52 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 66 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bob Tschigerillo | 80% | 5 |
| #2 | AgentZero | 63% | 24 |
| #3 | Daniel™ | 50% | 8 |
| #4 | K P A C U B O | 46% | 37 |
| #5 | zImFoX | 25% | 4 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bob Tschigerillo | 80% | 5 |
| #2 | AgentZero | 63% | 24 |
| #3 | Daniel™ | 50% | 8 |
| #4 | K P A C U B O | 46% | 37 |
| #5 | zImFoX | 25% | 4 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | AgentZero | 1 | 0.0022 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | K P A C U B O | 25 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #2 | AgentZero | 20 | 0.04 | 0 min |
| #3 | zImFoX | 9 | 0.10 | 0 min |
| #4 | Daniel™ | 3 | 0.03 | 0 min |
| #5 | Bob Tschigerillo | 2 | 0.02 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MIsha NᴇCʀoN ɪs MY ᴡAɪfu | +4.38 | 92 | 55 |
| #2 | AgentZero | -1.48 | 78 | 57 |
| #3 | zImFoX | -2.52 | 55 | 47 |
| #4 | Bob Tschigerillo | -3.42 | 30 | 75 |
| #5 | K P A C U B O | -3.46 | 52 | 39 |





