








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1121 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 286 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 50 matches | ||
| Wingman | 44 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Faceit | 5 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 51 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




97 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3632 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,771 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4294 | 34% |
| Smokes | 2925 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 3882 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 1670 | 13% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,350,105 of utility $190 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 786 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | GG ALLIN | 66% | 58 |
| #2 | MEGA (pero que diiice?) | 59% | 34 |
| #3 | Lucía Sánchez | 59% | 46 |
| #4 | eSp^ | 53% | 53 |
| #5 | Pichugüelo | 49% | 37 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | MEGA (pero que diiice?) | 59% | 34 |
| #3 | Lucía Sánchez | 59% | 46 |
| #4 | eSp^ | 53% | 53 |
| #5 | Pichugüelo | 49% | 37 |
| #6 | Bro, my cat is fat | 46% | 115 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bro, my cat is fat | 7 | 0.0035 |
| #2 | GG ALLIN | 6 | 0.0094 |
| #3 | Pichugüelo | 4 | 0.0085 |
| #4 | Lucía Sánchez | 3 | 0.0035 |
| #5 | eSp^ | 2 | 0.0025 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bro, my cat is fat | 284 | 0.14 | 6 min |
| #2 | GG ALLIN | 112 | 0.17 | 2 min |
| #3 | eSp^ | 72 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #4 | MEGA (pero que diiice?) | 66 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| #5 | Pichugüelo | 56 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pichugüelo | +0.95 | 41 | 50 |
| #2 | ᴅᴜᴏʟɪɴɢᴏ | +0.93 | 77 | 39 |
| #3 | Bro, my cat is fat | +0.58 | 61 | 61 |
| #4 | MEGA (pero que diiice?) | +0.27 | 44 | 64 |
| #5 | GG ALLIN | -0.07 | 53 | 58 |





