










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 97 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 6 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
202 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 375 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 136 | 36% |
| Smokes | 91 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 47 | 13% |
| Molotovs | 101 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $94,212 of utility $251 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 33 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | /4236857 | 100% | 2 |
| #2 | dead inside | 100% | 2 |
| #3 | Krux | 100% | 4 |
| #4 | tel aviv warrior✨ | 100% | 8 |
| #5 | keinz | 80% | 5 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | /4236857 | 100% | 2 |
| #2 | dead inside | 100% | 2 |
| #3 | Krux | 100% | 4 |
| #4 | tel aviv warrior✨ | 100% | 8 |
| #5 | keinz | 80% | 5 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Krux | 3 | 0.0345 |
| #2 | keinz | 1 | 0.0094 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Krux | 24 | 0.28 | 0 min |
| #2 | /4236857 | 9 | 0.19 | 0 min |
| #3 | tel aviv warrior✨ | 8 | 0.04 | 0 min |
| #4 | keinz | 8 | 0.08 | 0 min |
| #5 | dead inside | 8 | 0.13 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tel aviv warrior✨ | +3.22 | 87 | 24 |
| #2 | Selavi | +2.73 | 69 | 44 |
| #3 | /4236857 | +2.48 | 68 | 68 |
| #4 | keinz | -0.57 | 71 | 22 |
| #5 | Krux | -1.02 | 59 | 49 |





