










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 674 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 181 matches | ||
| Wingman | 105 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 10 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




46 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1862 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,169 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2686 | 33% |
| Smokes | 1817 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 2173 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 1493 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,869,976 of utility $299 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 446 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | U GOT PEEKED BY A KIA | 51% | 75 |
| #2 | U GOT PEEKED BY A VOLVO | 47% | 78 |
| #3 | Svit | 47% | 30 |
| #4 | wydra king <3 | 46% | 129 |
| #5 | W∀ᴚʞ∩S | 44% | 25 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | wydra king <3 | 34 | 0.0128 |
| #2 | U GOT PEEKED BY A KIA | 27 | 0.0170 |
| #3 | U GOT PEEKED BY A VOLVO | 26 | 0.0174 |
| #4 | U GOT PEEKED BY A PEUGEOT | 22 | 0.0063 |
| #5 | U GOT PEEKED BY A FORD | 9 | 0.0078 |





