








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 640 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 50 matches | ||
| Premier | 49 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 9 matches | ||
| Wingman | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




71 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3414 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,474 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3037 | 41% |
| Smokes | 2268 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 610 | 8% |
| Molotovs | 1559 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $562,838 of utility $111 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 213 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | saltinmyeyes | 48% | 23 |
| #7 | irie | 40% | 47 |
| #8 | league gf <3 | 36% | 33 |
| #9 | Detox | 36% | 14 |
| #10 | chickenuggie | 36% | 14 |





