








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 298 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 381 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 47 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




18 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3827 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,222 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1113 | 10% |
| Smokes | 3761 | 34% |
| HE Grenades | 2131 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 4217 | 38% |
Our logs show you have wasted $804,223 of utility $74 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 235 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Less | 60% | 30 |
| #2 | Bas1c | 51% | 78 |
| #3 | SprinkCal | 50% | 102 |
| #4 | ☾✦Kiss My Axe✦☽ | 46% | 119 |
| #5 | LadyK | 45% | 31 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | LadyK | 45% | 31 |
| #6 | Jalapeño Cheese Fries | 41% | 94 |
| #7 | ♥Li3ntji3♥ | 41% | 49 |
| #8 | Folivora228 | 33% | 27 |
| #9 | x_Floofmageddon_x | 30% | 30 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jalapeño Cheese Fries | 15 | 0.0077 |
| #2 | SprinkCal | 10 | 0.0046 |
| #3 | Bas1c | 10 | 0.0061 |
| #4 | Less | 3 | 0.0050 |
| #5 | ☾✦Kiss My Axe✦☽ | 1 | 0.0004 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SprinkCal | 329 | 0.15 | 10 min |
| #2 | Jalapeño Cheese Fries | 276 | 0.14 | 7 min |
| #3 | x_Floofmageddon_x | 172 | 0.31 | 4 min |
| #4 | Bas1c | 150 | 0.09 | 5 min |
| #5 | ☾✦Kiss My Axe✦☽ | 88 | 0.04 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Less | +4.01 | 80 | 47 |
| #2 | SprinkCal | +1.21 | 52 | 64 |
| #3 | Recruit me Pepel | +0.47 | 45 | 39 |
| #4 | ☾✦Kiss My Axe✦☽ | -0.91 | 21 | 46 |
| #5 | x_Floofmageddon_x | -1.82 | 28 | 52 |





