








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 144 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 127 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




22 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1931 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,727 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2650 | 34% |
| Smokes | 2445 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 228 | 3% |
| Molotovs | 2404 | 31% |
Our logs show you have wasted $412,632 of utility $80 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 88 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DANTE DU PS2 | 71% | 14 |
| #2 | vvs | 61% | 41 |
| #3 | Gui1K | 60% | 15 |
| #4 | nOk | 57% | 14 |
| #5 | GrimeS | 46% | 97 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | nOk | 57% | 14 |
| #5 | GrimeS | 46% | 97 |
| #6 | HiatanF | 46% | 39 |
| #7 | JNR | 46% | 52 |
| #8 | ✪ 𝟗𝐣 | 46% | 124 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ 𝟗𝐣 | 19 | 0.0076 |
| #2 | HiatanF | 9 | 0.0119 |
| #3 | vvs | 8 | 0.0119 |
| #4 | JNR | 7 | 0.0065 |
| #5 | GrimeS | 5 | 0.0027 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ 𝟗𝐣 | 512 | 0.21 | 11 min |
| #2 | GrimeS | 248 | 0.14 | 6 min |
| #3 | JNR | 192 | 0.18 | 5 min |
| #4 | HiatanF | 86 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #5 | nOk | 53 | 0.17 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | vvs | +5.49 | 98 | 14 |
| #2 | TRAVIS SQUIRT | +1.41 | 82 | 65 |
| #3 | Gui1K | +0.58 | 68 | 49 |
| #4 | GrimeS | +0.49 | 53 | 68 |
| #5 | JNR | +0.14 | 70 | 45 |





