








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 881 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 212 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 195 matches | ||
| Wingman | 103 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 92 matches | ||
| Premier | 74 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 49 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 45 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 83 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




88 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6493 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 30,722 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 11233 | 37% |
| Smokes | 3852 | 13% |
| HE Grenades | 9210 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 6427 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,111,227 of utility $67 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 878 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fantasmanko | 56% | 126 |
| #2 | matimcc | 54% | 159 |
| #3 | sbt | 53% | 122 |
| #4 | Ang | 53% | 526 |
| #5 | ainc | 52% | 44 |





