








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 35 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 35 matches | ||
| Faceit | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
585 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,721 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 74 | 4% |
| Smokes | 578 | 34% |
| HE Grenades | 395 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 674 | 39% |
Our logs show you have wasted $248,878 of utility $148 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1 message into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Melissa | 88% | 8 |
| #2 | k1oten | 61% | 18 |
| #3 | ТУТУТУХОЛАНД | 60% | 10 |
| #4 | NaPi | 56% | 25 |
| #5 | overINT | 56% | 9 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | ТУТУТУХОЛАНД | 60% | 10 |
| #4 | NaPi | 56% | 25 |
| #5 | overINT | 56% | 9 |
| #6 | aya | 48% | 23 |
| #7 | Thomas Shelby | 47% | 34 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NaPi | 2 | 0.0039 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Thomas Shelby | 101 | 0.15 | 3 min |
| #2 | k1oten | 66 | 0.17 | 2 min |
| #3 | NaPi | 56 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #4 | overINT | 39 | 0.21 | 1 min |
| #5 | Melissa | 39 | 0.21 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ТУТУТУХОЛАНД | +2.99 | 92 | 49 |
| #2 | aya | +2.90 | 84 | 48 |
| #3 | NaPi | +2.60 | 77 | 60 |
| #4 | k1oten | +2.43 | 92 | 54 |
| #5 | Thomas Shelby | +2.43 | 69 | 67 |





