








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 2086 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 853 matches | ||
| Premier | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 19 matches | ||
| Renown | 16 matches | ||
| Wingman | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 38 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
9475 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 44,490 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 8207 | 18% |
| Smokes | 13806 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 10781 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 11696 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,620,898 of utility $162 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 6282 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | . | 11 | 0.0022 |
| #2 | iCONIC | 5 | 0.0006 |
| #3 | Fiver17 | 5 | 0.0016 |
| #4 | Baki | 4 | 0.0004 |
| #5 | NutziLGND | 3 | 0.0007 |





