








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 192 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 280 matches | ||
| Wingman | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




125 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2784 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,441 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3917 | 38% |
| Smokes | 1657 | 16% |
| HE Grenades | 2596 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 2271 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $810,532 of utility $121 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1228 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Coke Harbour Butcher | 51% | 141 |
| #2 | ❤Pasi❤ | 51% | 252 |
| #3 | Skibidi Rona | 48% | 86 |
| #4 | Joreq | 41% | 85 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Coke Harbour Butcher | 51% | 141 |
| #2 | ❤Pasi❤ | 51% | 252 |
| #3 | Skibidi Rona | 48% | 86 |
| #4 | Joreq | 41% | 85 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ❤Pasi❤ | 59 | 0.0115 |
| #2 | Coke Harbour Butcher | 18 | 0.0061 |
| #3 | Joreq | 12 | 0.0067 |
| #4 | Skibidi Rona | 10 | 0.0057 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Coke Harbour Butcher | 390 | 0.13 | 8 min |
| #2 | ❤Pasi❤ | 251 | 0.05 | 6 min |
| #3 | Joreq | 59 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| #4 | Skibidi Rona | 24 | 0.01 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ❤Pasi❤ | +2.63 | 69 | 43 |
| #2 | upinpoika | +0.66 | 72 | 56 |
| #3 | Coke Harbour Butcher | +0.21 | 43 | 56 |
| #4 | Joreq | -2.54 | 22 | 28 |
| #5 | Skibidi Rona | -3.15 | 46 | 22 |





