










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 0 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.

| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
170 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 94 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 36 | 38% |
| Smokes | 4 | 4% |
| HE Grenades | 24 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 30 | 32% |
Our logs show you have wasted $50,250 of utility $96 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 9 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Professor Milk Dick, Ph.D | 58% | 24 |
| #2 | Michaelsoft Binbows | 50% | 2 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Professor Milk Dick, Ph.D | 58% | 24 |
| #2 | Michaelsoft Binbows | 50% | 2 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Professor Milk Dick, Ph.D | 5 | 0.0106 |
| #2 | Michaelsoft Binbows | 1 | 0.0213 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Professor Milk Dick, Ph.D | 66 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| #2 | Michaelsoft Binbows | 5 | 0.11 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Professor Milk Dick, Ph.D | +5.19 | 58 | 63 |
| #2 | Michaelsoft Binbows | +0.85 | 48 | 53 |
| #3 | uavs_online123 | -0.09 | 63 | 23 |





