








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 743 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 618 matches | ||
| Faceit | 170 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 61 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




61 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8020 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 23,442 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5707 | 24% |
| Smokes | 7224 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 6407 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 4104 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,347,938 of utility $133 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1159 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | EL_CUCHO | 61% | 46 |
| #2 | MR CUCHILLIN :D | 57% | 53 |
| #3 | Andy,j | 56% | 134 |
| #4 | Candycilla | 53% | 81 |
| #5 | JAV | 53% | 98 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Andy,j | 56% | 134 |
| #4 | Candycilla | 53% | 81 |
| #5 | JAV | 53% | 98 |
| #6 | :3 | 47% | 142 |
| #7 | DjTotobal ^-^ | 46% | 124 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Andy,j | 12 | 0.0040 |
| #2 | DjTotobal ^-^ | 8 | 0.0029 |
| #3 | JAV | 7 | 0.0031 |
| #4 | MR CUCHILLIN :D | 3 | 0.0027 |
| #5 | :3 | 2 | 0.0006 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DjTotobal ^-^ | 846 | 0.31 | 23 min |
| #2 | :3 | 602 | 0.19 | 15 min |
| #3 | Andy,j | 308 | 0.10 | 7 min |
| #4 | JAV | 304 | 0.13 | 7 min |
| #5 | MR CUCHILLIN :D | 187 | 0.17 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | EL_CUCHO | +2.67 | 75 | 64 |
| #2 | Andy,j | +2.38 | 81 | 55 |
| #3 | SayAL0FF^ | +1.28 | 70 | 54 |
| #4 | MR CUCHILLIN :D | +1.23 | 58 | 65 |
| #5 | :3 | +0.65 | 71 | 75 |





