








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 5 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 101 matches | ||
| Wingman | 29 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




56 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1760 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,028 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 912 | 30% |
| Smokes | 863 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 828 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 425 | 14% |
Our logs show you have wasted $537,253 of utility $181 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Just1n4s ツ | 49% | 78 |
| #2 | snargle | 46% | 37 |
| #3 | Strielka | 44% | 25 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Just1n4s ツ | 49% | 78 |
| #2 | snargle | 46% | 37 |
| #3 | Strielka | 44% | 25 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Just1n4s ツ | 12 | 0.0083 |
| #2 | snargle | 9 | 0.0147 |
| #3 | Strielka | 7 | 0.0134 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Just1n4s ツ | 113 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #2 | snargle | 29 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #3 | Strielka | 20 | 0.04 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Popkorn4s | +3.19 | 74 | 44 |
| #2 | Just1n4s ツ | +0.08 | 66 | 57 |
| #3 | Strielka | -2.03 | 49 | 53 |
| #4 | snargle | -3.94 | 38 | 36 |





