








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 952 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 826 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 92 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




21 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
10008 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 19,337 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4657 | 24% |
| Smokes | 4262 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 5873 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 4545 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,753,464 of utility $90 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 558 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ZeR0 ll R0G3R | 56% | 48 |
| #2 | Mista SoulTak乇Ʀ | 54% | 103 |
| #3 | Jazz | 52% | 63 |
| #4 | Welkin | 52% | 119 |
| #5 | ᴸˣᴿᴰ✪FR4NKL1NNN | 51% | 126 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Krezy | 511 | 0.08 | 14 min |
| #2 | ᴸˣᴿᴰ✪FR4NKL1NNN | 430 | 0.15 | 12 min |
| #3 | Mista SoulTak乇Ʀ | 316 | 0.14 | 7 min |
| #4 | ♛NAna™ | AWPnoxious® | 272 | 0.14 | 6 min |
| #5 | ZeR0 ll R0G3R | 191 | 0.18 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jazz | +3.81 | 88 | 66 |
| #2 | Mista SoulTak乇Ʀ | +1.80 | 71 | 49 |
| #3 | ZeR0 ll R0G3R | +1.63 | 60 | 69 |
| #4 | ADV .Skriplo^ | +0.91 | 62 | 47 |
| #5 | Welkin | -0.59 | 37 | 52 |





