








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1023 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 264 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 143 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




32 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3044 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,095 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3274 | 23% |
| Smokes | 3392 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 3872 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 3557 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $823,875 of utility $108 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 746 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Giila | 65% | 26 |
| #2 | Why_Not? | 52% | 25 |
| #3 | AndryPOG | 41% | 27 |
| #4 | suli | 35% | 34 |
| #5 | | 35% | 20 |





