








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 129 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 440 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 13 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




90 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4873 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,712 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3612 | 37% |
| Smokes | 3139 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 1538 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 1423 | 15% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,023,864 of utility $103 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 398 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Captain Vac Sparrow | 85% | 46 |
| #2 | rejeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee | 69% | 49 |
| #3 | gspotlol | 52% | 64 |
| #4 | _xXx_I_Love_Cock_xXx_ | 49% | 57 |
| #5 | Kaur Mops | 49% | 57 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | _xXx_I_Love_Cock_xXx_ | 49% | 57 |
| #5 | Kaur Mops | 49% | 57 |
| #6 | Krexs | 47% | 60 |
| #7 | Crys | 46% | 126 |
| #8 | IVV | 37% | 111 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | IVV | 13 | 0.0056 |
| #2 | Kaur Mops | 9 | 0.0077 |
| #3 | Crys | 7 | 0.0026 |
| #4 | Krexs | 6 | 0.0050 |
| #5 | gspotlol | 5 | 0.0036 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Captain Vac Sparrow | 110 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #2 | Krexs | 97 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| #3 | IVV | 88 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| #4 | rejeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee | 74 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #5 | _xXx_I_Love_Cock_xXx_ | 73 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | _xXx_I_Love_Cock_xXx_ | +2.15 | 56 | 52 |
| #2 | Captain Vac Sparrow | +2.07 | 89 | 60 |
| #3 | aadu peek | +1.16 | 82 | 46 |
| #4 | rejeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee | -0.16 | 81 | 52 |
| #5 | IVV | -0.48 | 61 | 35 |





