








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1149 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 542 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 13 matches | ||
| Wingman | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 27 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




77 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3553 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,348 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1658 | 16% |
| Smokes | 2050 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 3419 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 3221 | 31% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,681,350 of utility $128 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 3222 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Goka | 42% | 43 |
| #2 | twink eater bladee | 41% | 41 |
| #3 | jeidracobs | 41% | 63 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Goka | 42% | 43 |
| #2 | twink eater bladee | 41% | 41 |
| #3 | jeidracobs | 41% | 63 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jeidracobs | 11 | 0.0095 |
| #2 | twink eater bladee | 9 | 0.0112 |
| #3 | Goka | 2 | 0.0021 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jeidracobs | 165 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| #2 | Goka | 160 | 0.17 | 4 min |
| #3 | twink eater bladee | 13 | 0.02 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jeidracobs | +0.86 | 43 | 42 |
| #2 | twink eater bladee | -1.13 | 41 | 23 |
| #3 | Goka | -1.48 | 7 | 55 |
| #4 | Javi Bravo | -2.41 | 8 | 31 |





