








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 450 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 148 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 25 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1994 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,250 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 886 | 21% |
| Smokes | 993 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 1148 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 1223 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $946,431 of utility $212 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 49 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mikasa | 49% | 176 |
| #2 | BHEEDHU | 47% | 117 |
| #3 | L I T G U Y | 43% | 162 |
| #4 | BabaYaga | 38% | 117 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mikasa | 49% | 176 |
| #2 | BHEEDHU | 47% | 117 |
| #3 | L I T G U Y | 43% | 162 |
| #4 | BabaYaga | 38% | 117 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mikasa | 5 | 0.0013 |
| #2 | BabaYaga | 5 | 0.0020 |
| #3 | L I T G U Y | 4 | 0.0012 |
| #4 | BHEEDHU | 3 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mikasa | 645 | 0.17 | 15 min |
| #2 | L I T G U Y | 644 | 0.19 | 16 min |
| #3 | BHEEDHU | 488 | 0.20 | 9 min |
| #4 | BabaYaga | 142 | 0.06 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mikasa | +2.60 | 55 | 66 |
| #2 | L I T G U Y | +2.36 | 70 | 59 |
| #3 | NaizDis | -0.36 | 50 | 45 |
| #4 | BHEEDHU | -3.45 | 13 | 41 |
| #5 | BabaYaga | -3.48 | 16 | 46 |





