








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 120 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 119 matches | ||
| Wingman | 54 matches | ||
| Faceit | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Renown | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2011 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,449 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 823 | 15% |
| Smokes | 2038 | 37% |
| HE Grenades | 1080 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 1508 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $282,080 of utility $44 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 10 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Nykw2051 | 59% | 41 |
| #4 | Jhony Smith | 58% | 91 |
| #5 | ◥◣「Bluemiku 39」◢◤ | 57% | 110 |
| #6 | TheChampion2k29 | 57% | 56 |
| #7 | eLfu și atât | 53% | 19 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ◥◣「Bluemiku 39」◢◤ | 6 | 0.0027 |
| #2 | Jhony Smith | 5 | 0.0026 |
| #3 | Rob309 | 3 | 0.0010 |
| #4 | Nykw2051 | 3 | 0.0039 |
| #5 | TheChampion2k29 | 2 | 0.0017 |





