








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 30 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 249 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 10 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4004 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,535 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1386 | 18% |
| Smokes | 1682 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 2211 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 2256 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $339,287 of utility $46 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 395 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | Datz | 59% | 22 |
| #10 | sub | 58% | 26 |
| #11 | Labore | 56% | 63 |
| #12 | Lois | 52% | 61 |
| #13 | [RNG] OWL EXTERMINATOR | 37% | 19 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dique | 489 | 0.16 | 10 min |
| #2 | Labore | 289 | 0.23 | 9 min |
| #3 | nike air | 255 | 0.10 | 5 min |
| #4 | s1xvh | 247 | 0.16 | 6 min |
| #5 | Lois | 160 | 0.13 | 5 min |





