










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 5 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 67 matches | ||
| Faceit | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 20 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1121 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,950 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 921 | 31% |
| Smokes | 745 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 925 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 359 | 12% |
Our logs show you have wasted $343,530 of utility $174 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 255 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Beerhunter | 60% | 5 |
| #2 | Loba | 46% | 63 |
| #3 | Ignores (guleböj gaming) | 43% | 7 |
| #4 | Viggo | 38% | 8 |
| #5 | valis | 33% | 12 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Beerhunter | 60% | 5 |
| #2 | Loba | 46% | 63 |
| #3 | Ignores (guleböj gaming) | 43% | 7 |
| #4 | Viggo | 38% | 8 |
| #5 | valis | 33% | 12 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Loba | 27 | 0.0210 |
| #2 | valis | 1 | 0.0039 |
| #3 | Ignores (guleböj gaming) | 1 | 0.0067 |
| #4 | Beerhunter | 1 | 0.0109 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Loba | 192 | 0.15 | 4 min |
| #2 | Viggo | 28 | 0.15 | 1 min |
| #3 | Ignores (guleböj gaming) | 10 | 0.07 | 0 min |
| #4 | valis | 3 | 0.01 | 0 min |
| #5 | Beerhunter | 2 | 0.02 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Blur. | +1.75 | 73 | 49 |
| #2 | valis | +1.66 | 29 | 35 |
| #3 | Ignores (guleböj gaming) | -0.17 | 84 | 17 |
| #4 | Loba | -1.12 | 31 | 54 |
| #5 | Beerhunter | -1.67 | 49 | 16 |





