








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 824 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 628 matches | ||
| Wingman | 256 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 69 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




198 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8030 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 18,604 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2163 | 12% |
| Smokes | 4771 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 4332 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 7338 | 39% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,310,080 of utility $116 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 289 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KALASH | 50% | 105 |
| #2 | el Gustav | 48% | 175 |
| #3 | _z04_ | 45% | 213 |
| #4 | sapiqueleTexMex | 40% | 156 |
| #5 | DESPERADOS jungle bird | 40% | 184 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KALASH | 50% | 105 |
| #2 | el Gustav | 48% | 175 |
| #3 | _z04_ | 45% | 213 |
| #4 | sapiqueleTexMex | 40% | 156 |
| #5 | DESPERADOS jungle bird | 40% | 184 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DESPERADOS jungle bird | 42 | 0.0127 |
| #2 | _z04_ | 22 | 0.0057 |
| #3 | sapiqueleTexMex | 12 | 0.0040 |
| #4 | el Gustav | 7 | 0.0020 |
| #5 | KALASH | 7 | 0.0033 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | el Gustav | 257 | 0.07 | 6 min |
| #2 | KALASH | 197 | 0.09 | 5 min |
| #3 | _z04_ | 82 | 0.02 | 1 min |
| #4 | DESPERADOS jungle bird | 52 | 0.02 | 1 min |
| #5 | sapiqueleTexMex | 47 | 0.02 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ronnie Coleman Prime le TexMex | +2.10 | 41 | 34 |
| #2 | el Gustav | +0.78 | 44 | 61 |
| #3 | DESPERADOS jungle bird | -0.19 | 48 | 22 |
| #4 | KALASH | -0.41 | 34 | 68 |
| #5 | _z04_ | -1.59 | 27 | 14 |





