








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 168 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 145 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show 36 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1029 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,676 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 739 | 28% |
| Smokes | 637 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 941 | 35% |
| Molotovs | 359 | 13% |
Our logs show you have wasted $856,574 of utility $244 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 199 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nørkjær | 45% | 166 |
| #2 | L҉e҉@n҉ツ | 21% | 14 |
| #3 | Havork74 | 20% | 10 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nørkjær | 45% | 166 |
| #2 | L҉e҉@n҉ツ | 21% | 14 |
| #3 | Havork74 | 20% | 10 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nørkjær | 7 | 0.0020 |
| #2 | L҉e҉@n҉ツ | 3 | 0.0097 |
| #3 | Havork74 | 1 | 0.0046 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nørkjær | 440 | 0.13 | 12 min |
| #2 | L҉e҉@n҉ツ | 54 | 0.18 | 2 min |
| #3 | Havork74 | 22 | 0.10 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nørkjær | +1.53 | 48 | 68 |
| #2 | L҉e҉@n҉ツ | -0.99 | 20 | 62 |
| #3 | Havork74 | -1.29 | 32 | 42 |
| #4 | Tuborgkulose | -1.41 | 54 | 38 |





