








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1564 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 483 matches | ||
| Premier | 118 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 72 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




41 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7674 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 30,848 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 9398 | 30% |
| Smokes | 7415 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 7566 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 6469 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,472,567 of utility $95 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1921 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Shr1pel | 70% | 44 |
| #2 | rikon | 63% | 218 |
| #3 | MONKATALUD | 62% | 138 |
| #4 | Jugo | 59% | 305 |
| #5 | --venko-- | 59% | 103 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jugo | 15 | 0.0023 |
| #2 | aligatorcheto | 13 | 0.0023 |
| #3 | rikon | 10 | 0.0022 |
| #4 | NtLya | 8 | 0.0046 |
| #5 | --venko-- | 6 | 0.0028 |





