










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 0 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.

| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
349 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 698 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 166 | 24% |
| Smokes | 184 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 119 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 229 | 33% |
Our logs show you have wasted $110,120 of utility $173 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 205 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kfx | 100% | 2 |
| #2 | Kimitch | 100% | 6 |
| #3 | Yuki2k | 83% | 6 |
| #4 | DODOLO | 80% | 10 |
| #5 | nocries | 75% | 16 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | crab777 | 69% | 13 |
| #7 | Padilha | 64% | 25 |
| #8 | Beth | 63% | 8 |
| #9 | WADIAS | 50% | 6 |
| #10 | Queenter Frost | 50% | 6 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nocries | 11 | 0.0382 |
| #2 | Yuki2k | 3 | 0.0244 |
| #3 | WADIAS | 3 | 0.0288 |
| #4 | DODOLO | 1 | 0.0059 |
| #5 | kfx | 1 | 0.0286 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nocries | 76 | 0.26 | 2 min |
| #2 | Padilha | 60 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| #3 | crab777 | 41 | 0.17 | 1 min |
| #4 | Yuki2k | 26 | 0.21 | 1 min |
| #5 | WADIAS | 17 | 0.16 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nocries | +4.98 | 81 | 57 |
| #2 | crab777 | +3.77 | 62 | 73 |
| #3 | Yuki2k | +3.31 | 84 | 49 |
| #4 | xeresk | +2.64 | 66 | 41 |
| #5 | Beth | +2.33 | 70 | 48 |





