








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 685 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 95 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 51 matches | ||
| Faceit | 35 matches | ||
| Wingman | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




121 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3050 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,110 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2942 | 36% |
| Smokes | 1883 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 1754 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 1531 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $603,896 of utility $108 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 872 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | clout. | 26 | 0.0434 |
| #2 | 颪 Yoshimitsu 颪 | 18 | 0.0151 |
| #3 | _S0RRow- | 12 | 0.0156 |
| #4 | Fine Dandy #FreePalestine | 8 | 0.0210 |
| #5 | Eldritch | 7 | 0.0197 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | _S0RRow- | 169 | 0.22 | 5 min |
| #2 | clout. | 164 | 0.27 | 3 min |
| #3 | 颪 Yoshimitsu 颪 | 107 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #4 | -2FAST4U | 81 | 0.16 | 2 min |
| #5 | Fine Dandy #FreePalestine | 79 | 0.21 | 2 min |





